Friday, February 5, 2010


Do you ever find yourself questioning everything you've always believed in? Like a sudden epiphany that it may NOT be true, that it might NOT happen. I am having one of those moments. I have found myself questioning everything - and every one. I often try to predict my future, write every minute detail down, from where I will be tomorrow, to next week, to next month, to next year, to the next five years and so on. I think i am beginning to realize this is near impossible, and being the control freak I am, it has scared me to no-end. I like things being predictable and I hate surprises. I don't like it when things don't go to plan, this has brought many a weary mind. Tonight I have found myself questioning whether my path is laid out for me or i make my own. If i make my own at what point do i start making it? is each minute pebble in my path relevant to the path I lead, and if so, how deeper impact does a whole paver make? Do i start planning for the path ahead or enjoy each paver as I lay it? Do I have the opportunity to remove pavers and start again? I like the idea of fate.. I like that there is a path made up for me, maybe I just don't like the responsibility or the insecurity of having to lay this tremendous path by myself.
nevertheless, i think too much.
i need a glass of wine xo

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